Loneliness is the opposite of being connected.

When we are connected and spend time in solitude, we are alone but not lonely.

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Of our three innate drives – to be competent, self-determining and connected – it is ‘connected’ that resonates least with people.

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The Ancient Greeks divided the nature of existence into three areas: Beauty, Goodness and Truth which we can categorise as self, culture and nature.

For a long time, we have been able to contemplate difference in the third of these area – nature – with equanimity i.e. new discoveries in science do not trigger red zone responses (except perhaps in some extreme groups such as religious fundamentalists). This ability to stay in the blue zone despite new information that might challenge our world view is due to the rise of science – a means of seeking out and accommodating difference - and can be dated back to the time of Galileo.

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When it comes to issues of motivation, we always seem to want techniques for motivating or managing ourselves. The front covers of most self-help books emphasise that they can provide "The five steps to motivating yourself," or "Techniques that really work!"

When we believe that techniques alone are the way to change, we are expressing a belief in an external cause rather than an internal one, that being controlled rather than being autonomous is the way to bring about meaningful, personal change.

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